There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
