i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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