my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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