Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize