You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
