Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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