Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I got inside last night via doggy door
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
