shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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