physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
