he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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