how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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