I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
