i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
how drunk are you?
Several
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
