Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
