she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize