More tranny stories later!
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
