Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
