They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ketchup is God's man juice
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
