i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
