I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
