Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize