I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
