the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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