Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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