he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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