Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
