we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
