Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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