I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
