I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He better not be in your backpack
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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