haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
