I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
