her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
