Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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