You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Fuck me I smell like cheese
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
