He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
