ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
