i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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