Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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