I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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