i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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