he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Randomize
