Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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