I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
