I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
