Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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