Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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