What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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