Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
