There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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