I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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