Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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