Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
