Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
