Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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