When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
