Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
