he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
